Q. When do you go at red and stop at green?
A. When you're eating a watermelon
Q. Did you hear about the hungry clock?
A. It went back four seconds
Q. What do sea monsters eat?
A. Fish and ships
Q. Did you hear about the guy that got hit in the head with a can of a pop?
A. He's lucky it was a soft drink
Q. What do you call a fake noodle?
A. An impasta
Q. Did you know you can't use "beef stew" as a password?
A. It isn't strogonoff
Q. What's red and moves up and down?
A. A tomato in an elevator
Q. Why are snails a French delicacy?
A. Because they don't like fast food
Q. Did you hear the rumor going around about butter?
A. Nevermind, I shouldn't spread it
Q. Do you want to hear a pizza joke?
A. Nevermind, it's too cheesy
Q. What is the resemblance of a red apple and a green apple?
A. They're both red except for the green one
Q. You've heard of Murphy's Law but have you heard of Cole's Law?
A. It's julienned cabbage in a creamy dressing
Q. How does a farmer mend his overalls?
A. With cabbage patches
Q. Did you hear about the new all-Almond diet?
A. It's just nuts